Gettin’ Down When Your Flow Is ’Round

by Haley Rosenberg

Between pushing out babies with agonizing pain and earning $.81 for every dollar a man makes, having a vagina can be pretty cool. But, did you know that the menstrual cycles that come with our baby maker can also influence bigger, better orgasms that help with bodily ailments? Follow me, let’s take a walk. 

Throughout the stages of your menstrual cycle, hormone levels rise and fall in a way that can be used to your masturbatory advantage. When certain hormone levels are higher–such as estrogen and LH (luteinizing hormone)–they can directly influence libido and overall sensation. This combination of rising hormone levels increases the vaginal secretions around or during ovulation, meaning more natural lubrication and pleasurable penetration. Adversely, the drop in estrogen levels during or after your period can leave you with a muted sexual desire and vaginal dryness.

Research has shown that around the time of ovulation is the most favorable for experiencing those earth-shattering, oh my god, oh my god orgasms. Not only is there more blood flow to the genital region during this time, but the cervix is also in the most “comfortable” position, meaning less discomfort during sex. Woohoo!

While the pleasure that comes with an orgasm is reward enough, masturbating on your period can also alleviate some of the discomforts that come with your monthly flow. Firstly, an orgasm releases a rush of dopamine and serotonin, which act as natural pain relievers and can relieve period-related headaches, cramps, and back pain. Along with those chemicals, orgasms also release oxytocin and prolactin, which act as natural sedatives and can help give you a better night’s rest. And for the waking hours, the endorphins released during orgasms can also lead to an overall improved mood when PMS may get the best of you. 

So you’ve decided to do the damn thing, now what about the mess? Our actions have consequences, after all–but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to enjoy yourself while your vagina is doing her thing. That being said, here are some ways to spare your bedspread.

The number one way to avoid spillage is to have your fun in the shower/bath, but this comes with its own unforeseen issues: water will wash away your body’s natural lubrication. So, remember to squeeze in a lube bottle between your shampoo and conditioners to help ease friction, and watch your footing because things can get slippery!

If you’re keeping things in the bedroom, consider leaving in your menstrual cup or tampon and focusing on clitoral stimulation. Some women find that leaving a menstrual cup in actually applies satisfying pressure to their G-spot while masturbating and can be left in for some light penetrative action (since they sit so high up in the body). Just remember that tampons must be removed before any penetration.

Another tip is to lay down a towel before doing the deed or wearing panties you don’t mind staining and pleasuring yourself through the cotton barrier. And to save your toys from looking like horror movie props? Try putting a condom over dildos and vibrators for quick and easy post-orgasm clean-up. 

The moral of the story is that not only are there no wrong times to masturbate, but there are actually better times to do it if you know your body. Figuring out what time of your cycle leads to your best orgasms is a fun and informative way to become in tune with the ebbs and flows of your cycle and a nice excuse to break out your buzzing best friend more and more often. And don’t let your flow get you down: now you have tips on how to have a fun time with minimal clean-up. Get it, girl!